She announced her abortion via fbk
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Couch. On fire.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
