Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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