Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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