We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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