haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
