Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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