You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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