is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
