Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
