His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
