Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
