thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We left the knife in your bed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
