Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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