i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
