maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am one with the molecules
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
