when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
