He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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