How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
