Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
