I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
