Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
