her vagine was all disorganized.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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