Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
