I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
