I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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