i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
