Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
