Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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