I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
