We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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