Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
