We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have demons in me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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