So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
