Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
