dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
