why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
