at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
