I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
