How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
