I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
