Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
