its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
