Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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