Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
