Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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