you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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