can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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