eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
