There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
