Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
