so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
